I was saved when I was nine years old. I went forward in church was baptized but without the guidance of spirit filled parents, I soon lost my way.
My parents drank and fought, cursed, committed adultery and were physically abusive to their children. I remember praying God would take me away from it all yet still I remained.
When I was 13, I was molested and it took me years to forgive the relative who did it. Afterwards, I went from one bad relationship to another. Had children out of wedlock with a married man, wasted so many good years chasing after no good men. I eventually went on to marry a man who turned out to be a bigamist, then years later, a sailor who spent his time lying, cheating and doing his best to destroy my self-esteem.
Looking back, I realized I made a mess of my youth. Wasted it and the only good things I can say I retained from those years were my children. Unfortunately, I’m short one child due to a decision to have an abortion. I’ve never forgotten that child and still wonder what he or she would have been like.
You see, no one told me that after all the ripping and running would come the regret for bad decisions. No one told me I’d one day find out that what I really needed in my life was Jesus. No man, no money, no good time could fill the void.
Lord knows I was stubborn in my search and it took losing a lifetime’s worth of worldly possessions as well as almost losing my life and my children’s lives, to make me realize that what I needed was there all the time. All I had to do was ask.
One day in October of 2005, I did just that. I asked Jesus to come in and be my Savior. I felt His presence and immediately knew a peace that passes all understanding. I had something I thought I had lost. I had joy. I was in my bedroom with a chair, a desk and a futon. I was starting over again at the age of 38 but I had peace, joy, happiness and the love I was searching for.
Now I start each day, thanking God for letting me continue to be here. I will never forget that even as a sinner, he brought me out and set my feet on a rock. The song in my heart is Jesus loves me this I know for the Bible tells me so. I found it! I found the love I needed and I’m never going to live another day without it.
I tell my children constantly that they need Jesus as well and I do my best to let His light shine through me. Throughout my life, I’ve been through so much yet I’m still here. The Lord has kept me here and I’m so very grateful because I know He isn’t finished with me yet.
Now I’m looking to see what the future holds and I’ve got the promise of a home in heaven that I’m waiting to see. I’m waiting on the Lord, He is my portion an I know He will never leave me or forsake me.
In parting I leave you with the following:
Praise the Lord, O my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name. Praise the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits, who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with the love and compassion, who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s. Psalm 103:1-5.
Oh what a mighty God we serve! Hallelujah and thank you Jesus!
Gazelle Simmons @ http://www.admnsrvcs.com/